I'm confused.. Everything happened almost half a year ago,
but I am still confused and I think this event changed my life in a direction no one should ever go.
I apologize for my bad English, as I live in a country where English is not the main language, but I try to do my best.
I'm telling you a true story, maybe it is a kind of warning for other girls, maybe it is for your “entertainment” only.
I think I will feel better when I write everything down.

I am a 24 year old girl, living in the capital of a European country that is well known for its good and peaceful lifestyle. I was brought up by caring and loving parents, but they don't talk to me anymore as I have completely changed during the last half year, and I did a lot of things that does not make them proud of me.
I have always been a good kid, always had high marks in school, did a lot of sports and was leading a perfect life.
When I turned 20 I left home, moved into my own apartment that I rented, studied during the day, worked as a waitress in the evening.
My sexual life was kind of normal, I had some boyfriends, but it always ended up soon, and I was also kind of attracted to girls and had some affairs with girls, but I always had a “normal” family-life in mind.

Everything actually started when one day a guy showed up in the restaurant I was working for. He was the type of man I like. Tall, strong and muscular, short black hair, three-day beard and covered with thousands of tattoos. I have a weakness for bad guys. I love strong men, wearing leather, acting cool. I also prefer wearing black leather jackets, leather trouser, boots and acting like a real badass, drinking and smoking weed.
You will never see me wearing a pink mini skirt or something like this. Well that's the way I dress and behave, maybe I'm only a shy and insecure girl inside..

Anyway, I was attracted by this guy, and he seemed to like me too, as he often showed up in the restaurant. I was really looking good at that time, I had long brown hair, slim and firm because of the training I do, and I think of myself as really good looking then. Finally he asked me if I wanted to go out with him and of course I wanted to.

I wasn't sure what to expect from this date, I was not looking for a relationship so I thought I will just see what will happen. Nonetheless I prepared well for the next evening. I dressed up real cool but also a little sexy. I think I was wearing my favorite short black tank top, real tight leather trousers that made a very sexy butt, and of course my boots.

Alex, that was his name, picked me up after work with his motorbike, a huge and very cool bike, and we went to a club I already heard of but never had the heart to visit. It was full of loud bikers and so called biker chicks. Some of the “guests” were already drunk. The room was filled with smoke and the smell of alcohol. Two girls were dancing topless on the bar. I was a little shocked first, but the aggressive atmosphere also turned me on. I was a little afraid of all these guys but I felt protected by Alex.

He had been in the club often before and greeted some of those evil-looking guys and kissed some of those slutty looking girls. I was a little surprised that he kissed some of them like he knew them a lot better than I expected. I could see that at least two girls put their tongue inside his mouth like they wanted to to suck him dry. I did not really care. I was not looking for a relationship and anyway - he went out with me on this evening, not them.

We went to sit at the bar, which was a little strange for me as one of the dancers was dancing on the bar right next to me. She was quite good looking and I felt a little uncomfortable but I couldn't help staring at her firm breasts while she moved to the rhythm of the music. I remember that at this moment she caught me watching and looked at me with a big grin.
I felt a bit sheepish about that and my face must have had the color of a tomato then.. This was really a new world to me..

We ordered two beer and talked about what we had done in our life and anything that came to our mind. I really liked talking with him! The way he told you something was always very fascinating. I did not think about if what he told me was the truth, I just believed every single word. I always thought I was a badass, but the atmosphere in the club and the things he told me had experienced in his life (a lot of violence and drugs) should have made me feel like a schoolgirl that should be at home with mum. And at this time all my alarm bells should have gone off and I should have run....

But I didn't. At this moment I just thought everything was really cool. We had some more beer and I began to admire Alex – at least that's what I thought. I wanted to spend more time with him, he really turned me on!

Alex had to go to toilet so I was standing there at the bar looking around, watching the crowd. The room was filled with people. Most of them now were drunk, some talking loud and aggressive. One of the guys in the club was a really huge, strong but quite ugly man sitting on a table alone. He caught me watching him. Immediately I looked away but it was too late, he stood up and came towards me.

I remember his smell he seemed to be very drunk. He said something like “I saw you watching me, wanna fuck?”. I was really frightened and turned away immediately mumbling something like “No thank you” trying to look busy watching the dancers.
I felt him watching me from behind. “Or are you only licking pussies..” he said with his voice getting angry. I didn't say anything and did not move, frightened to death.
“I know you will love sucking my dick” he said and then he pressed himself on me from behind holding me around my waist and grabbing between my legs.
Now this was enough. I had training in self defense for years and in a split second I knew what to do. Never in my life I will forget the next minute.
By the way I would recommend this kind of training to every girl!

I turned around quickly raising my elbow so I would hit him at the head, but he was just too tall and I missed him. The only chance I now had was to kick him between his legs but again I missed and my knee hit him somewhere in the hip. It must have hurt as I heard him groan but now he was really angry.
Before thinking what to do next, I could see the blow to my head coming. I was able to raise my hand to keep it off but it was too powerful. I felt the pain in my face and the impact threw me to the floor.
The next thing I remember was that this guy went to his knees as he was kicked in the leg from behind and then I saw Alex bashing the guys head until he fell down. I will never forget this scene. The guy lying there, his face covered with blood. I still hope we was “only” unconscious as he did not move. I never found out what had happened to him.

Alex helped me stand up and dragged me towards the exit. For this kind of situation he seemed very relaxed. I remember the looks of the people when we left the club in a hurry.
The air outside was pleasantly cool and fresh.
“Are you OK?” he said. To my astonishment, I was. I thought I should feel bad, weak, feel pain or at least I should be shivering. I wasn't. Actually I felt good. I touched my face where I have been hit and there was blood. I had a small bleeding cut, and a huge black eye the next day..
“We'll go to my place and I will take care of that” Alex said.
On the ride to his apartment on his bike I was holding very very tight.

His apartment was small and messy, but I did not care. I sat down and Alex gave me something to drink. “Drink all of it, it will make you feel better” he said. I did and it tasted strange but I did not think twice. Alex went to fetch something to clean up my messy face.
When he came back I could not help but start to kiss him fiercely. It was not only because of Alex, but the whole situation has turned me on like nothing ever before. I loved feeling the pain in my face and still had the taste of blood in my mouth. I didn't recognize myself, I was a completely different person.

Alex seemed to like the situation too. First he was surprised but then he responded to my kiss. He grabbed me hard around my waist. It was hard for me to breath but I loved his strength. He dragged me down to the floor still kissing.
Without any words of both of us, he removed my top while I started to unbutton his trousers. I was eager to see and feel his cock.
I reached inside his pants and pulled out his cock. It was beautiful. Big, uncut and half erect I could see the veins pulsating. His balls were huge, filled with that tasty juice. Oh how I wanted to feel it inside of me.

I could not help but throw him over and get that cock into my mouth. It tasted so good and I sucked like I waited for this cock for all my life while massaging his warm balls. His cock was hard now and Alex grabbed my hair and moved my head up and down real hard. I had no choice than to take his cock deep down my throat which was hard at the beginning and it hurt. His tight grip also hurt but at this time I seemed to only get more horny the more pain I felt.

I was kneeling topless over a man I knew only for some hours, sucking his cock like a dirty slut and enjoying the pain I was feeling. Maybe I enjoyed it because I haven't felt something that intense for years.
I felt alive again.

Alex moved my head faster and faster, my throat hurt like hell and I could taste the flavor of blood in my mouth again but I did not want him to stop, I wanted more, I wanted his cum, I wanted it harder and that's what I received.
I heard a loud smack and felt the pain as he hit my butt hard twice.
I must have moaned with pleasure as Alex' facial expression told me he was satisfied with my behavior.

Alex rolled me over and removed my boots and trousers.
Now I was lying naked in front of him. He moved my legs up and spread them wide, looking at my shaved pussy. “That's the way I like it” he said, lowered his head and began to eat me. I was in heaven.
All I felt was at least twice as intense as normal at this time.
His tongue playing with my dripping wet pussy, circling my clit while inserting a finger in my pussy and massaging my anus. He absolutely knew what he did.

It did not even take a single minute and I had an orgasm that left me shivering all over my body. The emotions were strong like never before and I screamed with lust and pleasure. It felt like heaven but then it turned into hell.

As my body started to relax I felt his strong hands grabbing my breasts, squeezing them hard, and then Alex brutally rammed his huge cock in my pussy. My eyes widened with pain and I started to scream, but he quickly covered my mouth. I felt that tears were filling my eyes but that did not stop him and he began to fuck me violently. I tried to move but I couldn't, he pinned me down with all his weight.
“Don't try to move slut” he said, “you will soon relax!” and he continued to fuck me as hard as he could. I could not move, I could not think. I was only feeling pain mixed with lust.
Again and again he rammed his hard cock into my aching pussy, and though I had problems breathing with his hand on my mouth and though I did not want to I had another orgasm.

He stopped and said something like “don't scream or try something stupid” and slowly removed his hand from my face. I thought this was my chance and started to scream and tried to get away from him which I could not.
I didn't see it coming but I felt the pain as he slapped me hard in the face, on the same spot as the guy in the club before.
I stopped screaming immediately and stared at him in anger and fear. I could feel that the cut in my face was open again, and there seemed to be blood running down my cheek.

He grabbed my hair, pulled me up and threw me against the table so my upper body was lying on it. Then he took my arms and bent them backwards so I could not move and fucked me hard again from behind.
He pounded away for what seemed to be hours. I began to feel dizzy pinned down on the table and my pussy was hurting but again I had another orgasm. I was still horny though I was scared to death.

He released my arms not without warning me as to what will happen if I act stupid. I did not have the strength to resist anyway and I felt dizzier every minute. Everything felt like it was packed in cotton and I felt no more pain only horniness.
While fucking me he began to insert a finger then two into my anus.
He spit at my ass to make his fingers wet, and fingerfucked my ass spreading it with two more fingers.

I knew what to expect next as he withdrew from my dripping pussy and slowly entered my anus with his cock. I felt no pain. Instead I enjoyed the feeling of being filled with this huge prick. He started slowly first then again he pounded away not caring about what I felt. I only felt my hips rubbing against the table and the heat in my ass. Again he fucked me for what seemed to be ages, now and then spitting on my ass and his cock to keep it wet.

I don't remember if I wanted him to stop then or not, I just let it happen. After a long time I could feel that he was going to come. His cock got even bigger and harder and he was sweating and breathing heavily. Finally he withdrew his cock from my ass, grabbed my hair turned me around and made me kneel in front of him.

“Swallow it and I will not hurt you slut” I remember these words exactly.
Then he stroked this huge cock that was already blue and red from him fucking me, in front of my face, still holding my hair tight. I did not think about it, I opened my mouth. The first splash landed on my face, in my eye. I remember this usually burns like hell, this time it did not. The next two shots hit the back of my mouth and I started to gag but then he pushed his cock that has been in my ass right before deep down my throat. I had no choice than to let all of his cum run down my throat, and there was a lot of it. He pushed my head hard against his cock and I could not breath as my nose was buried in his stomach. He moved back and forth for a while until I felt his cock getting less hard. He removed his cock released my hair and I remember falling to the side to the floor, completely exhausted.

I believe I did not think anything at this time, while my mind was fully awake, and I was not able to move much. I should have been worried, what was wrong with me? I had no control over my body!

I heard Alex going to the toilet and then he called someone on the phone. I don't remember much of this conversation but there was some part where he said that the drugs have already taken effect. I had been drugged.

I should have been worried as to what will happen to me now, but I wasn't, as I was not able to think like a normal human being.
I only had this warm and good feeling between my legs and nothing else. I think I have fallen asleep then.

I remember this day so well because I have thought about it over and over again. I thought about what I could have made different so it would not have ended like that. It was also the last day for a long time, that my mind was wide awake. I do not remember the next days very well.

I do remember waking up again because of a pain in my arm.
I had been tied to the bed and someone was giving me a shot of something to my arm. I saw some people standing there. A girl was giggling. Men were talking.

During the next days and weeks I was used as a will-less slut. People came, fucked me and left again. All the time I was under constant influence of drugs and I think this made me feel like a porn star. There were times when 3 guys fucked me at the same time, there were women sitting on my face, there were smelly ugly fat men masturbating on my face, people were using me almost 24 hours a day.
Alex was taking money from all these people for doing to me whatever they wanted. I have been hit, I have been spit on, I have been burnt with cigarettes, I have almost been suffocated by a man choking me while fucking and most of it was filmed or photographed.
The constant use of drugs and alcohol did not even make me wanting to run away and I lost almost 15 pounds during this time. I remember one day I went to the bathroom and there was this girl in the mirror. She seemed to be quite pretty but she was too thin, had very dark circles around the eyes, a black eye, marks all over her body and stains of cum in her hair. I did not think about who she was then..

Everything could now have gone on like this forever, but I started to get sick, presumably because of the drugs I was becoming very weak and could not eat without vomiting immediately. So I was kicked out of Alex apartment one night without a single word. I was running around the city for some hours not knowing who I was or what I was doing, again wearing the clothes I had on when I had the date with Alex. The cold air and the absence of drugs made me wake up again and I slowly began to realize what happened.
But then again I don't think I have fully realized everything yet.
I went to my apartment but I could not get in, it seemed the locks have been changed.

So I had to go to my best friends place. I will never forget the look in her face when I stood at her door in the early morning. I must have looked like an alien. I did not want to explain anything I just wanted to sleep...
The next day my friend told me I had been missing for more than 5 weeks. Presumably I had already lost my job and also my apartment for not paying the rent. Everyone was relieved that I am back but I did not want to talk to anyone, I just spend the next days sleeping, crying and fighting the withdrawal syndromes..

My life is OK now. I have done a lot of sports, my body is well again. Thank god I did not catch any sexual disease! I have a new job and a new apartment. My parents do not talk to me anymore as they have found – or maybe someone told them – pictures of me circulating in the internet. Imagine seeing your daughter smiling to the camera being fucked in the ass while two guys squirt in her face. Anyway, I can't hold it against my parents..

I'm doing well now.. The only problem is the more time passes, the more I think positive of this episode, means I miss being in a drugged state a little, and I miss the sex as I can not compare the sex I now have to the days then.. I'm sorry for the guys I'm with now as my relations usually last two days..
I don't think I will ever have a normal relationship or a family..

But anyway I am I'm hoping this will never again happen to me, I only have to be strong.

Wish me luck!

Lisa